I am happy to inform you that the guy i had written about in a previous post is now off limits. This is a good thing because we can be just friends now. And now my heart understands that he will not be mine. I can be free of feelings! And even though their relationship isn’t official yet, i can see it. He’s just so happy when he’s talking to her on the phone. I’m so happy for them. Congrats best friend!!
I finally watched 500 Days of Summer and i mostly liked it; except for the fact that Summer insists she doesn’t want a boyfriend or serious relationship, yet leaves Tom so she can go off and get married. However, the film did teach me something quite important that is perhaps, just what i’ve been needing. Simply because there is this guy, and i like him. And everything he does and says makes me think that i might have a chance with him. The only problem is age difference. I often ask myself if it could ever work out or if any of it is on purpose or just pure coincidence.. So at the end of the movie when it says Tom finally realized that all those events were “merely coincidences, and not cosmic destiny” it helps get the idea that this guy might not even like me through my head. That he’s just being nice when he says “Cute cardigan.” or “Cute purse.” or even when he said “Oh you cut your bangs! Nice.” Maybe it’s just those 7th grade girl feelings coming back to me. Back when i thought that if a boy looked at me he was in love. So are these compliments just coincidence or does he mean more?
Home. It is usually thought of as the place in which one lives. I disagree. I moved to the next town over a little over two years ago. It does not feel like home at all. I tend to be alone most of the time (which i’ve learned to like). I can do almost anything i please without anyone knowing. Of coarse i don’t go around finding men to bring into my house but you get the concept don’t you? Well, in those two years i have not yet learned to call my humble abode home. For this place is not where my parents raised me, or where i feel safe, or where i can come in and feel at peace. No this is not the place. Home for me was where i lived my whole childhood. Where i first learned how to tie my shoe, where i played a song on the piano for my family before Christmas Eve dinner, the place i dreamt of the future and what would come of it; that was home. I know i will not be able to go back there – at least not anytime soon. But i do know that another family will be able to grow together the way mine did. I wish them happiness and a different fate then the one my family encountered. Even though i won’t be there, it will forever be in my heart and so will the memories. I will treasure them until i can’t do so any longer. So until that day comes i’ll just keep that sense of home with me everywhere i go. Because home is a feeling, not a place.
weekly challenge accepted.
Just me. For all to see.
I am me. No more. No less.
And I deserve nothing less than the best.
I will not change. I will not beg. I will not cry.
But I can learn to compromise.
No matter where you may roam, in my heart you can call home.
I ask for love and respect.
Things a woman should expect.
I will not just “take what I can get”.
I deserve much more than that.
I desire your heart, and your soul.
The broken pieces, and the whole.
I ask for nothing, I cannot myself give.
In my heart, you now live.
Please take care, don’t trash the place.
Look me eye to eye, face to face.
If I am on this limb all alone, tell me now and send me home.
Up so high, tree so tall. I’m so…
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So i have decided to make a blog. Thus, here i am typing my first post. It really came upon advice and want. Advice from a friend of sorts and want from my helpless little soul. It has been aching to write and for the longest time i had writer’s block. However, in the quest to rid myself of that curse i asked around and finally found a way to stop and blockage and allow my ideas flow. All i want to say is that i truly wish you find what i write to be a learning experience, as you follow me through my moments of confusion and happiness, understanding and frustration; like this we will both learn what the meaning of life really is. Together.